The Nine in 9 (Master P Voice) – Marriage Out Loud

We just celebrated 9 years of marriage a few weeks ago. I still can’t believe its been that long and so much has happened over these past nine years. We’ve lost parents and grandparents, got exciting jobs and lost them, had a child, bought way too many cars, spent way too much money, gotten sick, laughed until we cried and been on the verge of divorce many many times. I’d be lying if I said it were easy and that each and every day I WANT to be married. What I do know is that I’m committed to my family and that is bigger than just being “in love”. I don’t always feel butterflies or even love being a parent but these things are the biggest parts of my life so I try to learn and grow. Just when you think life is awful and its not worth it, your kid reads a word or your husband tells you he thinks you’re beautiful and you remember why you did it all in the first place. I don’t have all the answers but I do have some advice from my perspective. Maybe I’ll let Shelton chime in as well. Here are my Nine in 9 (Master P Voice):

1.You can’t always be right so get over it.

I struggle with this one often which is why its at the top of my list!

2.You will feel lonely at some point so be honest about it.

I’ve spent 9 years with a man who has chased almost every dream he’s had which has left me alone most of the time. In the beginning, I never said anything which often led to blowouts. Now I try to be honest without blowing up so instead of getting mad at every little thing (inside I’m screaming “Notice me!”), I just send a text that says, “COME TO BED “(gets his attention right away).

3.Intimacy, not sex, should be a top priority.

I crave intimacy and I can honestly say that we are still not that good at it, BUT we’re getting there. I want him to be more interested in what’s in my head and heart than what’s between my legs. I feel like Mike is the same way but he just doesn’t communicate it. All I know is when he asks me what I’m thinking, it usually leads to, “which way do you want it?”;).

4.Put yourself in their shoes.

I’m VERY bad at this but I try to think about how he would feel if I did x y and z. If I take the time to slow down and consider my husband’s feelings, I can instantly see how that fills his love tank full and in exchange the dishes are immediately cleaned (my love tank runneth over!).

5.Talk about things other than work and kids.

This one is especially hard for parents, but in our counseling sessions, our therapist repeatedly told us to create at least 10 minutes a day to talk to each other about EACH OTHER. Don’t talk your day at work or what your kid did, but things about YOU…what makes you tick. This one is still a struggle, but when we do it…its magical!

6.Find something you love and do it together.

Mike and I are HUGE gamers. We love to compete in a lot things, but when it comes to video games, we get down. We enjoy playing and it helps us unwind. We also have a podcast, which is probably my favorite thing we do together!

7.Communicate in football terms.

Mike is a football fanatic. When I talk to him, he often zones out but if I use the word end zone, then he stays in the play (ha!you see how I did that). Even though that was a horrible example, this is how I usually get through to him. Whatever your partner is into, parlay it into something you can use. *sigh* If only Mike would talked to me in 90210 analogies…

8.Be your partners BIGGEST cheerleader.

CHEER, CHEER, and more CHEERING will lead to a happy, happy partner. Mike is my biggest cheerleader. When I’m scared he gives me the confidence to face my fears and when I lose, it’s ALWAYS “their” fault lol. He loves me and he encourages me to go after my dreams and for that I will be forever grateful. We wouldn’t have a podcast and I would have NEVER been able to be on television or even on-camera if it had not been for his support!

9.Apologize often.

This one is the hardest pill for me to swallow because I always think I’m right (see #1), but I know this is probably the most important. I am wrong a lot (there I said it), but have a difficult time admitting it. That’s really damaging to not only our relationship, but also to me personally. Failing is a part of life and can only lead to growth. Seriously, who wants to be married to a know-it-all anyway. Oh I know who…Mike Shelton!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5ZvzIOO6aU

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